Gary vs. Mary

Pop music.

Original poster art.

The

match-up

we’ve

all

been

waiting

for?

Hardly. I knew there was a lot of gourmet popcorn out there, but “artisanal?” However you describe it, it’s tasty poppiness with a funny name. Wish there had been nuts inside. (Gary, can you fix that?) I think this logo would have looked better had the guy been in motion, like movie Mary. However, on the site, popcorn is raining.

It’s a damp cold…just bone-chillin’ day. Chicken Little me not! Dark and cloudy, but I know the Spring bulbs are lovin’ it.

Okrahoma!

Abelmoschus esculentus: Okra, no jokra!

Summer is not summer without crisp fried okra, the ultimate comfort food. I cooked up a mess last night. I was lazy (and hungry), because usually I’ll first coat the cut seed pods with a whisked egg and then cornmeal before plopping them in Spanish olive oil. A high-fiber alternative to buttered popcorn. Savory crunchiness. Texture is everything!

The word “okra” comes to English via the West African language, Akan. Should you be traveling the globe and get a hankering for such goodness, which also goes by lady’s fingers and gumbo, here’s a handy-dandy cheat sheet of how to get what you want (note the linguistic similarities):

Brazil (Portuguese): quiabo
Czech Republic (Czech): zelenina
France (French): gombo
India (Hindi/Urdu): bhindi, bhendi or bendai
Italy (Italian): gombo or abelmosco (check out the Latin heritage)
Nigeria (Igbo): ọkwurụ
Russia (Russian): okpa
Spain (Spanish): quingombó or calalú
Sub-Sahara(Bantu): kingombo
Turkey (Turkish): sebze

X-rayted M&M’s

It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Savory meets sweet in this edible non-fiction from Mars. Go out and buy a bag. Then, share it.

Did you know that the candy’s name comes from the surnames of the founders? Yep, Mars and Murrie. Here’s to privately-held companies!

True North

Geodetically yours.

With a name like this, how could almond clusters go wrong? What? An anonymous suggestion box card says “Lose the radiating almonds; they cheapen the nuclear effect at center stage.” I, myself, like the vertical brown “compass arrow.”

Cha Cha Sunflower Seeds

Seeds with legs!

I knew what was inside the bag when I bought it, but I did not get that they were mint-flavored. Now, I see that the illustrations were also trying to tell me that (and about their other flavors). The brand is Qia Qia (yep, pronounced like the dance). Sunflower seeds are a common snack for the Chinese. This variety was extra long and slender…the better to cha cha with!

The Kind You Will Take Home to Mother

Coconut that is over the rainbow.

Chips, that is. And why leave Dad and your siblings out when food is this viral? I bought these roasted-then-baked confections almost exclusively for the illustration, despite a weakness for coconut. Good thing, because the name is its low point. Sorry, Danielle, but these treats deserve more verbal personality…one that teases as well as it tastes. In fact, I’d even pay more than the already exorbitant $4.75 for 2 ounces if the name were more suggestive, even arbitrary or, at the very least, playful. Danielle is flat on the palate, whereas these chips are anything but. They are the Lays® of coconut: betcha can’t just eat one.

Danielle makes small batch chips from other exotic and not so exotic fruits, and the illustrations are as authentically botanical as this for the mighty coconut. Any of these would fetch “top swap” in the school cafeteria, particularly for budding designers. I tried two more (jackfruit and honey banana) of the many flavors, but it seemed I’d already tasted something similar before. If I were Asian, one thing I’d miss living here in the U.S. is the dearth of coconut edibles. Now, if only these came in larger packages.

Pring-less

Pringles: all tuckered out.

One way to leave your brand.

These ads are ridiculous. Really painful to see what this brand has become. The circa Laura Ingalls man and loudspeaker look like Mr. Whipple with gastritis. With the 57^th way to enjoy these crisps being called “The Pucker-Up,” I cringe to think how they named the other 99 ways, although I can bet you 95 or so don’t exist. The only redemption the Procter Gamble Co. (PG) gets for producing such lame ads and letting the brand flop to irrelevancy is that in April they offloaded Pringles to Diamond Foods (DMND) for $1.5 billion. Yes, with a “b.”

It helps to know that these chips are sold in over 140 countries, often nodding to regional preferences, like the cucumber-flavored ones I found in China. Those were so mild, I had to be reminded of what I was eating. Luckily, I discovered Flutes, which completely outdid them in taste, shape and durability. Yes, there is such a thing with chips — durability, that is; the one reason these have to be sold in a can is to keep them from looking like sand at their destination. As the last of P&G’s food brands to be shed, the company can now focus on its core cosmetics and healthcare units. Let’s hope this is a good buy for Diamond. They have their work cut out for them in bringing this brand back to its game. Let the crisps begin…again!